Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Can I just say.... WOW!

We took the plunge about one week ago....  We moved Weston to his own room, and were DETERMINED to help him sleep through the night.  When we went down to our sleep study, they told us the "protocol" to follow once all of his medical stuff was figured out - since his iron levels are great, and his reflux controlled (and tax season is becoming more and more distant in the rearview mirror)...  the time had come.

Night 1:  Weston slept in his new room, very excited to be a big boy, until 1am when he joined us in our room.

Night 2:  Weston fell asleep okay, but then woke up around 11pm...  and after being up with him for 3 hours, I threw in the towel and let him come sleep with us.  He slept until 5am.  I got three hours of sleep that night, and at one point he had the ENTIRE family awake.  I recommitted - and admitted my own stupidity.  I would do things EXACTLY as the sleep specialist said.  Period.  Variation is NOT an option.

Night 3:  There was some crying involved, and a lot of toys being thrown at the door.  Since the rule is "don't go in the room, no matter what" I decided that even if I had to buy a new door - it would be worth it if he slept through the night.  He made it through the night, sleeping in his OWN ROOM!

Nights 4, 5, 6 and 7:  Weston went to bed around 7:30 most nights, and wakes up between 6 and 7am.

Can I just say..... WOW!!!!!



The experts know what they are talking about.  What they DIDN'T tell me was the difference it would make in Weston.  His sweetness is now being worn on his sleeve.  He wakes up HAPPY, something he never did before.  He is so proud of himself for having his own room and sleeping by himself, and all night long.  He gets along better with his brothers, doesn't have as much of a temper, and is just generally speaking HAPPIER.  He eats better, and talks more, and is more affectionate (hard to believe that he could be more loving, I know!)  He is my sweet baby boy, and loves it when I call him that.  He's got just the best smile, and it goes all the way to his eyes.

And here's what I was so gratefully reminded of...  To be their best mom, I can't let my own feelings or guilt get in the way of doing what's best for our boys.  Ever.  Such a good reminder for me!  I know that God brought us through the last 9 months of sleepless nights for a reason, and it stretched me and pushed me so much, and I am GRATEFUL for it.  It gave me a massive amount of time to pray, and those hours in the dark will always have a sweet memory for me.  It forced me to rely on God as my strength - because I was exhausted and had none of my own.  It developed a greater and deeper level of patience in me.  It bonded Weston and I in a way that only a mom and son who've worked through exhaustion and frustration and who have snuggled for hours and hours on end can.  I understand how his little mind works so much more now.  I've learned that it's okay to admit that I'm weak/exhausted/need help.  It's okay.  I am NOT superwoman!  I am so grateful  to God for his sovereignty over my life.

And I am SO grateful to be getting so much sleep.  :-)  Actually, I think I'm getting too much sleep, I am exhausted all day long!  :-)  Seriously, who sleeps for 8 hours, uninterrupted?  I know that for me, that hasn't happened in YEARS!  I'm liking this new chapter!

Dear Sweet Weston,

At 3 years and 5 months, you are just a delightful, joyful little boy.  The look on your face when you see me come home, or when you wake up is just plain joy.  You've got the sweetest smile - and you love to give it.  You are talking more and more, and we all understand what you are saying.  Tonight you were so cute... running out into Wayne's soccer game, carrying a bag of Cheetos, with cheesy goodness all over your face and hands - running away from Dad - just to come tell me "Hi Mom!" and then run right back to Dad.  Silly boy!  I love you more than you can ever know, and am so thankful that God chose me to be your Mom - it is my privilege and my delight.  I will love you forever, and pray for you always, forever my baby you'll be!

Love,
Mom

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