Surviving and Thriving!

Well, we are all surviving in this heat! After making it through the weekend, the past few days have been LOVELY! We are outside a lot, doing projects and Wayne is playing in the sprinkler. We are ready to tackle the fence staining project now, and have decided on color, finish, etc. Woo-hoo!!! Weston continues to be a dolly... he loves to be near me, and his face lights up when I enter the room. Who knew all that rocking and bouncing with him when he was colicky would pay off? ;-) And, now my brother is coming home after all! Todd should arrive this afternoon by 4, so we are SOOO excited to have him home for the 4th! Wayne is doing really well too... He is making huge progress on his talking, and his new word yesterday was "ice cream." Shocking! More later!

Shutterfly and the best husband ever...

I love Shutterfly! Although I adore traditional scrapbooking, I've decided I am NOT super-woman, and that I will only traditionally scrapbook the kids until they turn TWO, and then I will turn to Shutterfly for each of them. Wayne's book is caught up to date, which amazes me! (his Shutterfly book, that is.) Not too bad though in the traditional department... he is covered up until February of this year, which leaves me with 1 month to finish for him, before he is COMPLETELY CAUGHT up! Our family album is through December, but Weston's hasn't been started (I know, I know, but hey, I told you I wasn't superwoman!)

Now on to the best husband ever... He worked a long 12 hour day, with a 1 1/2 hour commute, in HOT weather, then went to visit my parents with me when he got home... then when we get back, he asks if I need anything from the kitchen. I jokingly say "ice-cream" and quickly explain not to worry about it... and he says, "No, let me go get some, I'll have a bowl with you." So, he is now off to get ice-cream. What a man. My cousin said today that she was scared to get married, because she couldn't imagine making a decision to spend the rest of her life with one man. I told her that you don't, you just decide to stay married to him for one more day, and then another, and then another. Then I told her that I couldn't imagine living one day without Tyler, that that idea scared me! I love the guy... he is the best! (yeah, yeah, I know I'm biased! But seriously... who else besides him loves to tackle a to do list like I do?!? Okay, my Aunt Shelly, but I can't marry her!) :-) Night all!

The fully story...

I'm back! Sorry for the short postings, but the sun has been shining and we have been busy. We try to take advantage of Tyler's days off and both get things done around here, while we have the other to help watch the boys. Wayne is really good outside, but if we're not working in the backyard someone has to keep eagle eyes on him in the front! Weston... Weston is not much for sleeping, so he hangs out in the stroller outside with us a lot! We'll start with Wednesday... I worked in the morning from 7-11am. After work, I zoomed to Bellingham to pickup our orthotics and then run to Lowe's. I bought 52 plants, which consisted of 45 arborvitae's (aka. people trees) in 1 gallon pots, and 3 more that were in 5 gallon pots. I also got 4 golden barberry's (my new favorite plant... this week anyway!) I planted the flowerbed on the south side of the office, and then Tyler and I got all 45 trees planted along the property line by the driveway, trimmed the grass, and staked the soaker hose too. Tyler finished caulking the garage too, which is GREAT! Hmm.. that filled up most of the day, then we BBQ'd steaks, had red potatoes and grilled asparagus for dinner... boys got baths, books, and bed! Tyler and I went out and worked on trees, then came in to watch "Deadliest Catch" on the DVR. Thursday. We were up and at 'em, and Tyler was outside by 8am. He spent the morning installing a new faucet in the front of the house (the one we used to use is now in the garage, which is NOT convenient!) I worked on laundry, making dinners to freeze, phone calls, and taking care of the boys. We all ate lunch, and then it was off to bed for the boys. Wayne slept from 1-3:30, while Weston was up by 2pm. I fed him, and then he came out with us as we continued planting trees (and finished!) We continued outdoor projects until 5 or so, then came in and made Thai food together for dinner. After that.... Wayne had a bath, then we went for a ride to my parents to see the new compost they put in. Then home, feed Weston, and both boys went to bed! Tyler and I watered and puttered outside for another hour, then came in and folded laundry and paid the bills. By 9:30, we were ready to call it quits! So... in a nutshell, that's what we've been up to the past few days! On tap for today.... speech at 10am for Wayne, a birthday lunch for Taylor at 12:30, and then HOME and naps for the boys. I am going to try to wash my Jeep this afternoon.. it's filthy! OH, and I need to continue the "cleaning the blinds" project, and move Weston's crib mattress to a lower position. Reading all this makes me think I'm nuts, but whatever! :-) I know that all of you are just as busy too!!! Now you all know what "coffee time" is so crucial around here... it gives me 10-15 minutes where I force myself to SIT!!!

Tired again...

I am basically typing for all you "daily" readers... I don't want you to be disappointed in the morning! :-) Too tired again tonight... we've been VERY busy around here. I will try to get on tomorrow and post more details, but the gist of it is that I am SOOOO ready to go to bed. My cheeks have been "kissed" by the sun, and I am tired from a hard days work. It doesn't get any better than that in my book! Oh yeah... and the boys have been in bed for almost 2 hours! :-) I have no other randomness to give you... stay tuned!

A quick post, then goodnight!

I am tired, so this won't be long! I went to Lowe's today and FILLED my Jeep with plants... 45+3+4=52 to be exact. I'll get pictures posted of my latest "artwork." Man, I sure love GREEN things. Oh, Weston had his first rice cereal tonight. He took it very well. I know I am late starting him, but better late then never. To be honest, I probably won't be real consistent with it for awhile. He seems to do just fine nursing, and that is just a lot easier right now! Oh, and Wayne says "mommy" now. It is the darndest cutest thing ever... I have waited awhile, and it is music to my ears!

5 Months Old!

Weston-peston is five months old, crazy but true. I took his picture (I try to take an "official" shot once a month of the boys in there first year) so here they are... his outfit is so cute, I am going to use it for his professional 6 month pictures! He now weighs 16lbs and 15 1/2 oz, wears mostly 6-12 month clothing, and a size THREE shoe... he never even wore his size two's! Too bad too, because they were darn cute little Nike's from Wayne! Oh well... honkin big feet! He is definitely showing us more of his personality these days. When the mood strikes him, ANYTHING is hilarious to him, and he really likes it when Wayne plays peek-a-boo with him. Weston usually goes down about 7:30, and is up between 4 and 5am for a feeding, then sleeps again until 7 or 8am. Usually. He still does have nights where he is up quite a few times, but even then he settles down quickly. As you can see from his photos... he is the bluest eyes that are so adorable and melt your heart. He's our baby Weston!

In other news... we had a fabulous time at my cousin's graduation party today. What beautiful weather! Oh, and Tyler's mom is doing really well. She is still down at UW, but she is getting stronger every day. Later!

I'm old.

I know some of you may read the above and think I'm nuts, but bear with me here. Back in the "glory" days of high school (I say this with MUCH sarcasm, these were by far not my favorite years of life, only outdown by my junior high years. Only high light I can think of off the top of my head is TYLER! We started seeing each other (seriously, what does that mean?) when I was a freshman, and he was a cool sophomore, driving a 66 Mustang!) Where was I... oh yeah, I'm old.) By the time we reached high school, it was old hat to see folks every day. Seriously, a few hundred faces that you saw every day, and I'm guessing roughly 50 or so that you knew WAY too much information about, because it was always "on the wind." I can remember graduating and thinking how strange it would be to NOT see these people every day, do you remember that feeling? Not that it was a good or a bad feeling, just a feeling. Today I saw one of those folks, in, where of all places? The Wal-Mart parking lot. We each had two kids with us, who were roughly the same age. We chit-chatted about pregnancies, kiddos, and how fast time had gone by since last summer when I saw her at the Fair. So, now I am my mom, in yet another way... I think of this person by her maiden name, and not by her married name (I hated when my mom would say my friend's mom's maiden names... I had no clue who she was talking about.... which brings me to the point that I don't know my school friends mom's first names, because I called all of them Mrs. ________ or "so and so's mom." Any-hoo... I digress.) So, I again am becoming my mother in yet another way.... I guess that is not such a bad thing though, when I think about it, because my Mom is my HERO! :0) Have a great weekend everyone!

Diaper Derby

First, if the thought of diapers and all things related disgusts you.... STOP READING! This is not going to be the post for you. If you are intrigued, read on.

Diapers. And the stuff that comes in them. NO ONE can prepare a new parent for what this task is going to be like. It sounds so benign, "Change his diaper." And yet, that statement is so loaded, literally! When we first had Wayne, I can remember looking in his diaper and thinking, "That is not poop." Had Tyler pulled a fast one and squirted mustard in there? And then there were seeds in the mustard. And seriously, how many times a day can a nursing newborn fill his pants? I SWEAR he _________ more than he ate! And then there is the issue of me not smelling. I can't smell, in case any of you didn't know. It's a hereditary thing, I was born without. I think it's called anosmia. Anyhow... this has NEVER bothered me in my life, until we had kids. The fact that I can't smell dirty diapers is hard. It means that 20,000 times a day I am "peeking" into their diapers to see what kind of business has been done. I try so hard to be diligent, but on the occasion I miss one, and when I do go to change them, their butt is all red, and I feel TERRIBLE. Poor kids, their mom can't smell, and it's not their fault! Also, this means that I can't smell when the diaper Genie needs to be emptied either, not that it takes very long to fill with two boys in diapers in the house! So if you are ever around our kids or our house, and it smells like doo-doo, tip me off, would you?

Aaaww... The joys of having two kids who are not toilet trained. Wayne's belongs in a toilet. And Weston... each boy goes through about one Costco case a month. I think my diaper purchases alone pay for my executive membership! :-) So, to ease my pain and help me to not feel alone in this diaper changing doo-doo battle, I am proposing a derby. You can email or leave comments with your score, based on the following.

• 1 pt. doesn't need to be changed, but you change it anyway because you're a good mom.
• 2pts. Fully loaded #1 (good for you, you were economical/environmentally concious and made sure it was good and full before you changed it!)
• 3 pts. for a run of the mill #2
• 4 pts. for a #2 that you somehow coerced/tricked your husband into! (my favorite line is, "I don't smell anything?!?")
• 5 pts. for a #2 that requires an outfit change, and a box of wipes
• 7 pts. for a #2 that requires the use of a scissors to cut off the clothing. Hey, a mom's gotta do what a mom's gotta do!

My score for today... 29. I could've had more, but Tyler was working. :0)

I can see clearly now...

.... my windows are clean! I have 17 windows in our house, not including the garage. It has been 2 YEARS since I have cleaned them (I think since the summer Wayne was born.) I am now too cheap to pay someone to do it for me, so... two years has passed. And today, I CLEANED OUR WINDOWS! And I didn't wuss out either. I cleaned the grooves, the screens and the windows, inside AND OUT! Also, I did not injure myself (last time, I rolled an ankle, which caused me to fall off the bed I was standing on, hit my head against the wall and hurt my back. I actually put a hole in the wall with my head!) So, I am feeling pretty accomplished. To top it off, I cut Wayne's hair, and he didn't even scream bloody murder! :-) What a day... It's nice to know that when I put my mind to it, I can still accomplish things.

Off to make dinner! It's chicken and rice with cooked carrots and a caeser salad. Tyler will be home in 1 hour and 15 minutes... countdown is on!

Things I love about today

1. The sunshine


2. Working in the flower beds


3. Les Schwab fixing my leaky tire FOR FREE!


4. That the dogs got bathed, and it wasn't by me


5. Weston's smile.. he's feeling better and has the cutest darn smile!


6. Wayne "driving" his motorized truck into my tree in the backyard, followed by his hands on his cheeks as he says, "uh-oh!"


7. The sunshine


8. Having a blizzard with Tyler tonight


9. Weston's chubby legs as he sleeps


10. The look on Wayne's face when he went "bye-bye" with Grandpa in Grandpa's truck (pretty cool!)


11. How cute Tyler's sunburned cheek's are from fishing


12. That Wayne is using the word "stuck" appropriately (and the "st" part correctly!)


13. Having an iced latte after working in the yard for several hours


14. Boys who nap for several hours


15. The sunshine

Fishing Fun

Here are some fishing pictures. They all made it back safe and sound, and it sounds like they had a great time. We are excited to smoke it and eat it with cream cheese and crackers! I think it's too funny that my Dad and brothers go fishing with Tyler and his Uncle and cousin! Who knew... only God could orchestrate these things! The Dads on their boat.
Kent (aka: "Kenter's" aka: cute and available! (he is soooo going to kill me if he finds out about this... Kara ~ mums the word!)
My brother Ryan, and his fish
more fish... I guess that was the point. They took home 72.
Kent and his BIG fish. 3 1/2 pound trout.

Happy Father's Day!

My favorite Father's Day story so far... The year Wayne was born, on Mother's Day, all I wanted was for Tyler to take care of Wayne for the day. I would feed him, but all diaper changes and fussyness belonged to Tyler. He gladly gave me my "gift" (along with other gardening supplies!) and it was a delightful day. When Father's Day rolled around, I expected "turn-around is fairplay" but instead, Tyler asked that he be allowed to do everything for Wayne, if I could only feed him. Tyler said that it was Father's Day, and he wanted to be a dad. Just one of the many reasons I love that dear man! This year is a funny Father's Day for us. Normally holidays are very busy for us, full of family things. But Tyler and my Dad are gone fishing still, and Grandpa Wayne, Great Grandpa Groen and Great Grandpa Silves have all passed away. Even though these men are no longer here, the legacy they left behind is still here. Tyler is very hands-on with our boys, and is very aware the impact and influence he has in their lives, and will have as they grow older. He missed out on doing things with his Dad, and I know he looks forward to doing those things now with our boys. I am so proud of him being the spiritual head of our house, and nothing brings tears to my eyes faster than watching him read Wayne a story from his toddler Bible and pray before going to bed. Much to my dismay, it's pretty funny when Tyler gives me an affectionate pat on the hinny, and it's followed by another one from Wayne. I am so thrilled with the example that Tyler is setting for our boys on how to love their wives, as Christ loved the church. We are not perfect, by any means, but even in that our boys are learning to be compassionate and apologize when they are wrong. This is the legacy he is creating, and I'm humbled to be the woman God chose to watch it grow.

*We must continue on...*

I barely know where to begin on this post... Seriously, I don't remember the last time I laughed as hard as I did tonight. My cheeks hurt! First, I went to a lovely baby shower for Grace and Amanda, but you'll have to check out Amanda and Heidi's blogs for the photos and rundown, as I didn't get any pictures. It was a LOVELY time.

On to other things... since the husbands are all fishing or at the Logging Show, Aunt Shelly and Kelsey and Bailey, and Mom and Tara and I went to Bellingham for our annual "girl's night out." We went to Red Robin, were we had an AMAZING waiter, who mostly got a kick out of how loud we were and how much we laughed, and that everyone at the table ordered water (except me.. I needed a diet coke!) on ladies night out. We left there, thinking the night was too young to head home (hey, I had a babysitter!) So we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond. Next we made a pit stop at Starbucks, but pregnant Tara wanted DQ ice cream. So, what are we going to do, deny a pregnant woman? We went through the drive through, where the attendant had a hard time hearing the order (the cackling women in the background didn't help, I'm sure!) He finally says to Tara, "Could you say that a little quieter?" Seriously, QUIETER?!?! He was a nice guy and ended up messing up the order, and giving us all the messups for free. Here's where the story begins....Bailey and I (I got a little burnt at the shower!)Sisters! Kelsey and Bailey w/ the onion ring tower.
Tara had to have ice cream! Isn't she a cute pregnant lady? 28 weeks.
Yeah... this photo says it all! As we pulled out of the DQ by Cordata, we noticed 3 young men coming across the parking lot. One had a bloody face, like he'd been punched and they were chasing after two guys. We thought we were seeing a fight, and didn't want the one guy to get hurt anymore... Now, we've all watched many a TV show where they do "Sting" operations to see if normal citizens would respond to someone in need. Us ladies took 2 seconds to decide that we needed to call 911 and try to follow them. We also noticed a red car with a husband and wife sitting in the DQ parking lot, watching things unfold. I called 911 and told the lady what we were seeing. She asked if it was the shoplifters from Cost Cutter. I had no idea, but said the guy was bloody. She responded that yes, two guys had shoplifted, then hit the Cost Cutter employee and ran. We told her which way we last saw them going, and she asked us to maintain a visual. However... we had alredy lost it! She also said 4 squad cars were on the way. We circled back to see if we could find them, and spotted them walking north on Cordata, closer to Madrona this time. We tried to flag down the police SUV in the roundabout with us and point, but he did not get what we were saying. The SUV exited the roundabout westbound, and so did we (those roundabouts are confusing!) We again called 911 and told them where they were, and that one guy had taken off his sweatshirt and was now wearing red. The police cars all took off again, and eventually went out on foot behind the Best Buy building. We circled around the area, convinced we could spot them hiding, and when we finally headed towards home, we saw the police down a side street (one that we had flipped a u'ie in earlier) arresting one of the suspects. The night was full of surprises, huh? Let me make it clear that we DID NOT interfere with the police in any way. Nor did we put ourselves in any danger. I just strongly feel that we as citizens need to help when we can, and speak up. I know some people who are afraid to dial 911, but when the situation calls for someone in uniform, call!!! The funny thing was, in our initial circle around back by the DQ, we asked the people in the red car which way the guys had gone, they told us, and we told them we had called 911. They gave us the "thumbs up" and pulled out of the parking lot. Throughout the rest of the search, we saw them repeatedly make the rounds, just like we were. At one point they pulled up becide us, and we shared info (the clothes change, direction, etc.) About to pull away from us, they said, "We must continue on!" It was in that ally that the police made the arrest, about 10 minutes later.
Mom's "infra-red" which she said could detect the guys hiding in the grass. This brought on MANY fits of giggles from the 'burban. On the phone with Adam, who she had to tell about the events unfolding! (Note Tara with her ice cream....)There they are!Bailey pretending to be scared, and everyone else laughing at her!
The last police officer we saw as we were driving away.

a mother's instinct

Aaah yes. After typing this morning's blog, I became more and more convinced that Weston-peston had an ear infection in at least one ear. Apparently, he is a lot like his brother in that he doesn't have a cold, fever, and isn't pulling his ears. However, based upon my experience from Wayne, frequent waking up at night, lack of napping, extreme fussiness and crying while nursing all pointed me towards Madrona. Our pediatrician confirmed that in addition to A TON of wax buildup (Weston can thank his genes for that) he has an ear infection in his left ear. He went from giggling and smiling on the table, to an utter melt down when his ear was examined (after removal of the wax, of course.) He is feeling much better tonight, THANKFULLY! Such a cutie though.. Wayne just went to bed, and he always gives Weston a kiss before going down. Brotherly love is a beautiful thing!

Diane update: She is doing well, and should hopefully be moved to a better room soon. She is able to get up and sit in a chair, which is huge!

{61 degrees}

Since when does 61 degree weather make you hot? Since Washington weather stinks, that's when! We were on our way home from speech, with the sun roof open, and I thought, "Man, it's sure warm!" As I looked at my temperature gauge, and saw "61." This is ridiculous weather, even for Washington. Ugh. I'm counting on some sun these next few days, and the weather lady promises it's coming. That's all for now, thanks for reading my rant.

Day Two is beginning.

Day two of the fishing trip is on. I hope that it is better than day one. Weston was a saint while I was at church yesterday morning... and it was all down hill from there! He was a pretty good boy, with the exception of NOT SLEEPING well. I got 2 20 minute naps from him from 12 to 8pm. From 8 to 7am, he woke up 7 times, and two of them I just gave in and fed him! Oh nelly. He had been doing so well with sleeping too, he must know that his Dad is gone. Today we have Wayne's speech in the morning (preceded by a coffee run to Master's Blend.. I'm addicted to their coffee and in dire need after waking up every 1-2 hours all night!) And then we will be home for the rest of the day. The Endless To-Do List (that's what I call it... I love lists!) includes laundry, toilet scrubbing, vacuuming, and flowerbeds. Yippee! Sounds like a fun day to accomplish (I mean that too!) I do love days at home, even though without Tyler they can be a little long. Oh well, he is having a great time fishing, and even caught one already!

Oh... What a Week!

Diane and Weston the Saturday before her surgery.
Grammie and her Silves boys.
Grammie and her grandkids.
Weston Pestion

That title barely begins to describe this week! Each day has been FULL, with hardly time for afternoon coffee! :-) That's saying something, since that is a staple of life here in the Silves household. First, Tyler's mom's surgery, then just all the housework, doctor's visits, church nursery, and getting Tyler ready for his fishing trip. While it's been busy, it's been very doable, and I don't feel overwhelmed... just pressed! We are having an Open House for the nursery on Sunday after church, so I am just trying to finish up all the bulletin boards and signs before then. The boys are doing well... Wayne is picking up about 5 words a day, so that is pretty exciting. He's started speech therapy, and it is just enough to give him the boost he needs to learn that his words have power! His therapist is great, and I am able to learn new things to help Wayne learn too. He is a hoot that boy... smart as a whip, and he loves to hide! I had to hunt him down at church today, not so easy in such a big place. Especially since he's figured out that I find him when he giggles. He's staying pretty quiet these days. Weston is one darling little boy. Things started out rocky with him, with the colic and acid reflux and all, but now he is such a delight. It is so great to have him smile, giggle, and laugh, and see how much he adores Wayne. He's rolled over a few times, and he is growing to look more and more like Wayne. The clothes he's wearing in these pictures are 6-12 month sizes.. Crazy! He is definitely chubbier than Wayne, and more outgoing and boisterous. Wayne was a much more serious baby. Tyler is heading off for a Father's Day fishing trip near Kamloops, Canada. I think they are actually fishing to catch and keep this year (last year they catched-and-released, which baffled us women folk... what's the point of going!?!) Once again, let me just so that I am GRATEFUL to God for bringing Tyler into my life to take my place on the fishing boat... He is good, isn't he?

Update...

Hi All! Sorry I didn't post sooner, but we got back pretty late last night, after a long day in the waiting room. Thankfully, it was boring. That was our goal... boring! The doctors provided updates every 2 - 2 1/2 hours throughout the surgery, which was 11 1/2 hours long. Everything went well, and she remained stable throughout. She is now looking at a hospital stay of approx. 1 month, depending on how she recovers. Thank you all for your prayers, we appreciated them so much.

The little artist...

Wayne thought he was pretty nifty, sticking his pens in his pockets!

Hmm.. could he get one more in? Don't think so!
Note the "train" of crayons across the floor on either side of him.

Also, Tyler and I would like to ask you to pray for his Mom and the family tomorrow. Diane's surgery is scheduled to begin around 7:30am and should last from 10-12 hours or so. We are going to go down to keep Duane company, and to get the updates from the surgeons as they give them. Since we are all about praying specifically, if you could, please pray that Diane would physically remain strong through the entire surgery, that the doctors would be efficient and thorough, wholly focused on the task at hand, and that the family would be able to remain strong and united in the waiting room throughout the process, we would so appreciate it. We know that while she is physically in the surgeon's hands, truly she is in the hands of the Great Physician, and there is no better place to be! We will update you all when when we get back. Thank you so much!

Oh Wayne...

I know, I know, another Wayne post! But he is learning soooo much every day, so indulge me!

Weston was sitting in his bumbo and starting to fuss. For the first time, Wayne really took it on himself to come over and help. He played with Weston, made faces, and even played "peek-a-boo" with Weston and made him life. This was totally unprompted, and I don't even know the last time I played peek-a-boo with Wayne!

And finally.... Wayne was at Grandma's the other night, and Aunt Tara taught him how to play fetch with their dog, Winston. So this morning, Wayne was running around on all fours, barking. He grabbed a toy palm tree, in his mouth, and brought it to me. I asked, "Does the dog want to fetch?" and Wayne said, "Yeah!" Soooo.... We played fetch in the living room! Where do kids come up with these things?

Life's about learnin'

Wayne learned today, as he does every day. Here's a sample of what a 2 year old can learn in a day:

• Words: Today's additions were lion, cold, bath, cookie, and mine
• Wagons are fun to load and pull around
• No matter what, if you push it through the rails on top of the stairs, it will fall and make a loud noise when it hits the ground
• Water splashes everywhere when you dive into it (especially all over the bathroom floor)
• His little brother splashes a lot in the bathtub
• If you giggle when you hide, Mom finds you faster
• When you drink fruit smoothies too fast, you'll have to hold your head and say "owie"

Our pet horse... Wayne!

Yesterday morning, Wayne refused to eat cereal unless it was in a pie plate. Whatever, we choose our battles, and this is just not one of them! He happily took off to the living room, where he proceeded to crawl around on all fours, neighing like a horse, and crawling over to the pie plate, where he ate his breakfast without a spoon or hands... afterall, he was a horse!

Saturday at the Silveez house...

Wayne and Weston, just before bed, watching Curious George together.

Wayne just had to hold Weston's hand.

Such a cute baby!
My pots on the back patio... love them!
Tyler's new haircut... he wanted it shaved off, so we did it!
Seriously different looking... we'll see how long it lasts!